PS 




Class 




3SU 



%^. 






COPYRlGirr DEPOSIT. 



THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 
OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 



The Strange Adventures 
of Captain Runnelstoke 



BY 

Alfred James Fritchey 



NEW YORK 

THE COSMOPOLITAN PRESS 

1912 



T5 3^)1 



i^^a. 



Copyright, 1912, by 
Alfred James Fritchby 



^ CI. A 31203 



When I see how poets wrangle 
O'er the Muse they almost strangle. 
I have laughed until my sides 
Ached, at such poetic hides. 
There's one way to woo the Muse, 
Let her come to whom she choose, 
Where she will and when she will, 
Then you'll write, and not until. 



CONTENTS 

CHAPTER PAGE 

I. The Origin of Titles, or the Ethics 

OF Coxcombry, 9 

II. The Measure of Eliteness, Being 
Some Jauntings Among the Amber- 
gris-Eaters, 23 

III. The Seat of Authority, or Butter- 

flies Will Fly and Fishes Will 
Swim, 38 

IV. The Isle of Dinosaurs, or the Anti- 

quity OF Cowry, 51 



The Strange Adventures of 
Captain Runnelstoke 



CHAPTER I 

THE ORIGIN or TITLES 

OR 

THE ETHICS OF COXCOMBRY 

Now of Eunnelstoke I sing, 
Runnelstoke, the wayfaring, 
Runnelstoke, the wily one, 
Who the wondrous deeds hath done. 

In the very year before 
Freedom swept Havana's shore, 
Weigh'd with rum, a thousand tuns, 
For the Gold Coast thirsty ones. 
Sailed a ship by Morro Castle, — 
Cuba then to Spain was vassal, — 
As the flying fishes scatter, 
As the sun, a golden platter, 
Twinkled on the Cuban blue. 
With a Solic wink or two. 
Runnelstoke is on the bridge. 



10 THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 

NoAv the lights a-studded gleam 
On the far receding shore. 

Like the harbour of a dream. 
Maybe, too, some witching eyes, 

Latent with Castilian fire, 
Waken palm-girt memories. 

That wonld dare to home aspire 
In the heart of Runnelstoke, 
That no sailor's oath could choke. 

Seven bells, — and in the sea 
Of Sargasso now are we; 
Seaweed here, seaweed there, 
Seaweed floating everywhere; 
Miles of it and piles of it, 

In luxuriance indeed, 
And wherever flits the eye, 

Back it lights on more seaweed. 

Some there are, can still be found. 

Who of this same sea avow 
Ships go sailing round and round. 

With a figurehead a-prow: 
Happiness that form, I'm told, 
And her cargo's lined with gold; 
Tho' her sailing long hath gone. 

And her spars are split and bent, 
Yet she sails forever on, 

And arrives — from where she went. 
Fair winds and the schooner bore 



OF CAPTAIN EUNNELSTOKB 11 

Off the coast of Afrie's shore, 
When a mighty storm appeai-s, 
And a whirlwind adds its fears, 
Like the Indian Sea's monsoon 
Came a-wooing here in June. 
Kolling, monster surges cast 
Whitened spra}^ o'er deck and mast. 
Over jib-boom spar and o'er 
Hatch and poop with mighty roar; 
Cinnamon was all the sky. 

And the hurricane's wild mood 
Rode on billows mountain high, 
And was speeding now too nigh 

For the schooner to elude. 
(Funnel-shaped, 'twill be allowed. 
Is the regulation cloud.) 

Runnelstoke was pacing after, 
When he heard loud shrieks of lauglitei- 
Coming from the cargo's cover 
And his ire bubbled over. 
For he deemed that mirth had come 
Somehow from his casks of rum. 
So, with rage beyond control, 
Down the ladder quick he stole: 
Maudlin, I am 'shamed to say 

Was the crew, and worse tban swine 
Acted noble intellects 

That have oft been called divine. 
Runnelstoke. in dire distress 



12 THE STEANGE ADVENTURES 

At his sober loneliness, 

Took a spike and beat tattoo 

On the skulls of one or two; 

But no beating can restore 

Brains where drink hath been before; 

So with benedictions he. 

Of a large variety. 

Dowered them for parting strain 

As he sought the deck again. 

Then the storm in fury broke 
Over crewless Eunnelstoke, 
With a curious twisting turn, 
Splitting ship from bow to stern; 
Went, and in its foamy train 
Left the sun that shone again. 
And on Eunnelstoke alone 
Of that cutthroat crew it shone; 
All the rest to maudlin graves 
Sank beneath the thirsty waves. 
And that very rum that gave 

Death to some — how Fate will joke !- 
Destined now was it to save 

From a like fate Eunnelstoke. 
For the day the storm arose, 

(Very hour mem'ry fails) 
Eunnelstoke hid on his coat 

Hammer and a pack of nails. 
With intent to secretly 
Build a strong box none might see. 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 13 

So, recurring this to him, 
On a plank he strove to swim 
Where the casks their noses poke, 
And soon there was Runnelstoke. 
Nailing planking on the rum, 
Quite a raft he built therefrom. 
Then on one of them he spies 
X of an enormous size. 
Which his mem'ry tells doth hide 
Biscuits that he placed inside. 
So a hole in each he cut. 
Which with corks of wood he shut; 
No fine dainty ever shared 
Sweetness with those biscuits snared. 
As from sponge in liquor sank 
His delirious palate drank. 

Thus he lived until October, 
Alternately drunk and sober; 
This is (tho' somewhat late season) 
Not beyond the bar of Reason. 
For whoever scans Religion, 

Will have seen how few things are 
Like a humming-bird bred pigeon, 

Just beyond our Reason's bar. 

On the fourteenth, loomed the strand 
Of a palm-fringed tropic land, 
Opportunely high and dry, 
Where the huge flamingos fly, 



14 THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 

Him a tidal wave now stranded; 
Rum and biscuits with him landed. 
Runnelstoke^ with pleasure great, 
Saw he was the guest of Fate; 
For on trees with fruit that teemed, 
Mangoes and bananas gleamed; 
Cocoanuts, with playful whim, 
Dropped a nut or two on him; 
And on shore, full frolicksome, 

Crabs and turtles gamboled sweet; 
And om- hero lay a-dreaming 

Of the meal he soon would eat. 

But to get that one desire 
Runnelstoke must have a fire; 
Not a quenchless flame like reigns 
In the lovelorn hearts of swains. 
But a flame to stomachs soothsome 
That can make a dinner toothsome. 
Casually he looked around 
To explore what might be found. 
And upon a pile of rocks 
He discovered mica-blocks. 
On the thin-split mica, he 

Scooped a jelly-fish entire, 
And that magnifying-glass 

Gave him soon a roaring fire. 
Then a meal he roast and basted 
As Lucullus never tasted. 
Then within a friendly cave 



OF CAPTAIN iiUNNELSTOKE 15 

Which a lire-brand explores, 
On a pile of leaves he gave 

Praise to IMorpheus in snores. 
Wakened was he by a chorus, — 

Overhead the buzzing sounded. — 
And he deemed (as soil is porous) 

'Twas an apiary grounded. 
And his tongue with longing wavered 
For his biscuits honey flavored. 
So for honey and to see them 

Carefully he dug a pass; 
And for fear that he might free them. 

He inserted mica glass. 

It was day, and all the workers 

Forth had gone, for none were seen. 
And the drones, who are the shirkers. 

Staid attendance on their Queen. 
Beautiful and iridescent 
She, and foppishly arrayed 
Were the drones who bowed obeisance 

To the majesty she played. 
Then it flashed upon our hero 

Why in idleness they ease, 
For the drones, whose toil is zero. 

Are the nobles of the bees. 
And the titles they endure 
Are as follows, I am sure: 
Holder of the Golden Anklets; 
Looper of the Diaphanous Bodice; 



16 THE STKANGE ADVENTURES 

Fixer of the Ro3^al Garter; 
Duster of the Queenly Feet; 
Wiper of the Princely Mouth; 
Trainer of the Inimitable Coiffure; 
Designer of the Wasp-like Figure, 
And many other sycophants 
Crawled for honors queenship grants. 

Some say men should study bees, 
For a moral will impress; 

Not for me the bitter lees 
Of a fair queen's fickleness. 

Tho' a drone I fain would be, 

I prefer my queen for me. 

One day thro' the jungle walking 

Over leafage rank and vast. 
Him a lion came a-stalking 

For a civilized repast. 
As he heard his heart-beats pound, 
Came a snapping, flapping sound ; 
In a Yenus-fly-trap lying, 
Was the writhing monarch dying. 
'Twixt our aim and our achievement, 

What a chasm lies between us ! 
For a many roaring lion 

Still is caught by lovely Venus. 

Gaudy were the birds that floated 
O'er the tropic flowered canon; 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 17 

As he caught the silver-throated 

Singing from a leafy banyan. 
Suddenly he felt a stinging 

Blow: unconsciousness came o'er him, 
x\nd he wakened to the swinging 

Of three anthropoids that bore him. 
Bore him where he was discerning 

Bright huts in the sunset glancing; 
At the cry of their returning, 

Came a troop of damsels dancing. 
Damsels, ah, so fair, entrancing! 

How could fathers e'er be sponsors 
To a marriage right a-granting 

Such ourang-outang-ish monsters. 

Here he learned in a fortnightal 

From these first heraldic hewers, 
That they bore the tribal title 

Of the "Mighty Earth-Subduers." 
And that formerly more ape-liko 
In a chimpanzeeic shape-like 

Were they; but thro' intermarriage 
With the ever title-seeking 
Auriprendians, with good reeking, 

Now, more manlike was their carriage 
And in phases of inanity 
They now surpass humanity. 
Of the titles maidens drew, 
I'll enumerate a few. 
Here were: 



18 THE STJiANGE ADVENTUEES 

Baron-the-Eirst-Tree-Climber ; 

Lord-Chaser-of-the-Parrots-and 

Plucker-of-their-Golden-Feathers; 

DiLke-Lover-of-the-Daneing-Squirrels 

And Waster-of-the-Paternal- Acorns ; 

And the Marquis-Flim-Flamingo-Chaser. 

Here were also the renowned 

General-Killer-of-the-Baby-Elephants; 

Major-Disperser-of-the-Buzzing-Gnats; 

Colonel-Decimater-of-the-Sleeping-Penguins 

And Captain- Annihilator-of-the-Conics. 

Came a damsel named Tubaska 
Something, to his hut. to ask a 
Kight before the door a-waiting, 
Blushing, bowing, hesitating, — 
Came to ask him, — don't disparage, — 
Ask him for his beard in marriage! 
Then he learned it was the fashion 

(Fashion to all climes has flitted) 
To insert a bunch of whiskers 

In the bride's heel that they slitted. 
And the toe-walk got that way 
Is the height of style to-day. 
He declined to, as appeared, 
Make a foot-mat of his beard. 

One day Runnelstoke went fishing. 

As he entered the canoe, 
Suddenly it went a-swishing 



OF CAPTAIN EUNNELSTOKE 19 

And a-down the river flew. 
Bent to find why thus lie hastened, 

Did his eyes the water scour; 
In a wicker-hasket fastened. 

Fishes were his motive power. 
And they brought him with a splatter, 
Where he heard a giant clatter; 
But this feminine-like tension 
Was a parrot-age convention. 

First, one bellowed like a calf, 
Then the whole concourse would laugh 
As another, bowing gravely, said: 
'^'Your Highness." 
Then another, on a log. 
Went a-grunting like a hog. 

And the concourse, nodding gravely, said: 
"Your Lordship." 
Then another, standing by. 
With a green and glassy eye, 
Great solemnity did deign 
As he uttered oaths profane; 

Mimicking, the concourse gravely said : 
"Your Worship." 
Then another strutted dowdy. 
In demeanor of a rowdy, 
Said all gravely as before : 
"Youi- Excellency." 

Xow there came a trumpet's blare 
And the ones thev mimed were there. 



20 THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 

Squawking loud the parrots flee, 
Barely time to climb a tree 
Had our breathless hero, when 
Hove in sight the Peacock-men. 
Blare of trumpets — gilt of kings — 
All the vultureship that brings — 
Thousands cheered with lucr'd glee 
For the rogues of royalty. 
Then Who-Did-He-E'er-Make-Happy ? 

King, with kingly vanity 
Touched a kneeling figure 

And improved on God's humanity. 
^'Sir Knight, I dub you 
Prince of the Red Eyes." 
And to another: "Sir Knight, I dub you 
Duke of the Royal Paunch." 
And to another: "Sir Knight, I dub you 
Lord of the Improvident." 
And to the last: "Sir Knight, I dub you 
Peer of the Noble Dearth." 

Then a deep-toned yelping veering 
From a pack of wolves a-nearing, 
Helter-skelter o'er the ground. 
Nobles, princes, dukes were found, 
In a frenzied mad endeavor 
From all knighthood to dissever; 
And the very first who ran 
Was that peerless Peacock-man. 
Majesty? Heaven, hark us! 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 21 

How it ran to save its carcass ! 
Runnelstoke, when all had fled. 
Quickly down the tree-trunk sped, 
And as promptly sought protection 
In the opposite direction. 

Thus he wandered on, nowhere, 

Till a fragrance filled the air; 

Till 'mid herbs and briar-tree 

Came he on a heronry. 

Egrets scattered far and wide 

In their chastest plumy pride, 

Like a white lace fairy-land, — 

Countless numbers without end. 

And they had the wondrous power, 

Breeding, hatching, every hour; 

But tho' thus they fret and race. 

They can never keep the pace 

Of the stern decrees of style; 

For the savages beguile 

Them, and for their white plumes bled them, 

As the egrets wept to shed them. 

And with stylish figure bent there 
Was a missionary sent there, — 
Sent there to convert the savages 
From their fashionable ravages. 
Like a harmless caged canary 
Is a foreign missionary; 
Missionary to, indeed, 



23 THE STRANGE ADA^ENTURES 

Where their brains have gone to seed, 
Where the greatest goodness shown 
Is in leaving them alone. 
But some folks from sin will win them 
If they have to shoot it in them. 

Runnelstoke, now somewhat lanker. 
Hailed with joy a ship at anchor, 
And her name and home-port station 
Was our hero's destination. 
So I chronicle full pleasant 
Ko disasters for the present. 



OF CAPTAIN KUNNELSTOKE 23 



CHAPTER II 

THE MKASUKE OF ELITENESS 

BEING 

SOME JAUNTINGS 

AMONG THE 

AMBERGRIS-EAT EKS. 

Fog- of the feathciy flake! 

Bridge of bridges nearing I 
j\Iinarets that make 

Dimmer shadows, peering 
Over the billowy sea, — 

Sea of the iinest down, — 
And home again are Ave, 

Home in New York town ! 

Now, in the earliest white, 

Straight in the harbor steaming. 
Maybe in sleep's delight 

Some one, of ns is dreaming ; 
Maybe, too, some we loved 

Won't be there to greet, 
]\raybe to-night, those lights so bright. 

Won't shine for iis so sweet. 



U THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 

Maybe, too, ships that sail 

In the uncertain flashing, 
Out in the howling gale, 

Out in the billows lashing; 
Think, too, of ships at home, 

All anchored, free from strain, 
And maybe they pray that they, too, ma} 

Come safely home again. 

Silently up the bay. 

Never a whistle blowing. 
As if on this Christmas day 

We are a part of the snowing; 
For 'tis the daAl^m we love. 

And now the plank is down, — 
Yes, on the pier is some one dear,— 

"Home in New York town !" 

Runnelstoke again was home. 

But his ship will come no more. 
Strewn was she in flotsam chunks 

On the Dahomean shore. 
Prom the city's throngs that toss, 

IJp the winding steps he hies. 
To report the utter loss 

Of his Gold Coast enterprise. 
Malgazar, his chief, was there 

And a stranger one beside; 
With grey beard and snowy hair, 

Wisdom he personified. 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 26 

Maps whose colors were a babel 

Covered every nook and table. 

On the wall, the Frost-King's palace, — 

The aurora borealis, — 

Twinkled on the berged hills 

With a green that brought the chills ; 

But his greeting was full hearty, 

When recalling this same party 

Left a fortune (hist'r}- teaches) 

On a dozen different beaches. 

"Eunnelstroke, you devil daring, 

Shake hands with Professor Herring, 

Who a captain bold is wanting 

For a pleasant Polar jaunting.'' 

Often afterwards, when came 

Days that terror-racked his frame, 

Wished he that he ne'er had met 

Herring dried or Herring wet. 

Now, howe'er, he took the proffered 

Hand, and just as hearty offered. 

But evinced he no elation 

At this Herring's destination; 

For the Pole is no fit topic 

For a man just from the tropic. 

But the plea that fame adds lustre 

To a name imperishable. 
Wakened hopes that would not muster 

To aught else, how cherishable. 



26 THE STBANGE ADVENTUKES 

"Tell me/' said oiir Kunnelstoke, 

"And I want a fair expounder. 
What escape would fame evoke 

If the 'darned' old ship should founder?" 
Then they had a laughing-storm, 

As they led him to a corner, 
Pointed to a curious form, 

"That," said they, "is our rejoinder." 
Like a diving-suit in show. 

Only twice as large it was ; 
Herring touched a spring, and lo, 

From it came a curious huzz. 
Huge as mail of Luna's duke, 

Gutta-percha or caoutchouc, 
In which Runnelstoke took station 
To the others' admiration. 
Touched a spring, shown by the two. 
And the helmet onward flew; 
Then another, was he dreaming? — - 
Now he toasted, now was steaming. 
Eunnelstoke again unsealing, 
Herring all his joy revealing. 
Said : "Of suits a few will do, 
One for me ancl one for you; 
If the ship should sink at sea, 
Safe and dry we two would be." 
Eunnelstoke due homage paid. 

In his language not quite Sapphic-, 
And the bargain then he made 

We will simply say was graphic. 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 2r 

Six months later and wo view 
Eunnelstoke, and Herring, too. 
On the "Viking" restlessly 
Gazing on frigidity 
Liquified, and on for aye; 
Far behind was Baffin Bay. 

Then the sun in beauty shone 

On that sea of icy green, — 
Eegion of the vast unknown, — 

For far to the north was seen 
In a rough and broken stack, 
Glaciers of the Polar pack, 
Whitened in their crystal bed 
By the snows that centuries shed. 

Then there came an icy wearing, 
Like a l)erg submerged were tearing 
Thro' her keel and thro' her rudder, 
And the ship gave one great shudder. 
Barely time to touch tlie spring- 
That his head was helmeting 
Had our hero, Runnelstoke, 
(For he, by a lucky stroke. 
Had his new suit in position, 
By a curious premonition) 
When he felt the Polar sea 
Merge around him icily; 
Saw a horror-stricken face 
Of the crew, then not a trace. 



28 THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 

Anguish eases much in sharing, 
So our hero looked for Herring. 

Then he felt a heavy shot 

On his head where it was not, — 

On his helmet, I should say, — 

Like an arquebus display. 

Turned to see whence came the gunning, 

Whether friend or an oppressor, 
Like a porpoise on a sunning 

Up and down bobbed the Professor, 
Who had thrown the leaden tether 
That the two might be together. 
Then they touched the jars caloric, 
And they dozed in warmth soporic 
Thro' the day and thro' the night, — 
Paroxysm of delight, — 
Till they almost cursed the breaking 
Of the day that brought awaking, 
And that shoreward safely cast them 
Prom the wreckage that swept past them 

There they saw a snowy mound. 
Like a cabin underground. 
With the hopes that hardships merit, 
Like a gopher or a ferret, 
In the snow they dug a gash. 
Where they found an Arctic cache; 
Rifles of an antique pattern, 
Powder of an ample measure, 



OF CAPTAIN EUNNELSTOKE 29 

Books that even Zeus or Saturn 

Would liave loved to read with pleasure, 

Blankets white and warm and woolly, 
Bacon, flour, naught neglected, — 

Ah, the cache could not more fully 
Have been planned had they selected. 

Only in the quick unpacking 

Noticed bullets they were lacking; 

But their joy showed no transition 

At this trifling great omission. 

Then did Eunnelstoke, our hero, 

With the weather under zero, 

Make the crisp air grow emphatic 

With the odor aromatic 

Of the sizzling bacon, then 

Fit for gods and fit for men; 

Which with flour cakes, hot grated. 

Soon the castaways were sated. 

When the dawn was just a-peeping, 
Eunnelstoke, in soft wool sleeping, 
Heard his name, amid commotion, 
Called by Herring from the ocean. 
Quickly dressing, out he went. 
Greeted by astonishment. 
Tiny, laughing jets of flame 
From a massive iceberg came, 
Sparkling on the Arctic sea 
With a wondrous brilliancy. 
"Diamonds ! — from a deep-sea station !** 



30 THE STEANGE ADVENTUEES 

Herring cried with admiration. 
Then with chisels holes they drilled, 
And the holes with powder filled ; 
With a cap and fuse of string, 
And a giant thundering, 
Shoreward came a chunlv that drew 
Diamonds to a peck or two; 
But the berg was seaward bloAvn, 
Where in splendor long it slione. 

Somewhat later to the north 
Both our heroes ventured forth 
On a hunting expedition, 
With some nails for ammunition. 
In a hole, a walrus sleeping, 
Bravely came our hunters creeping, 
And before he gave a sniffy 
They dispatched him in a jiffy. 
Then upon the face of Herring 

Wonderment was plainly told, 
Which our Eunnelstoke was sharing,— 

For the tusk and teeth were gold ! 
But with professorial merit. 
Doubting it was eighteen caret. 
Broke a tooth to find its rating. 
And the gold was but a plating. 
Then, while Herring fell to musing, 
Eunnelstoke. with joy enthusing. 
Of a golden inint was dreaming 
And to o-et it soon was seheuiing. 



OF CAPTAIN KUNNELSTOKE 31 

Herring, then, with due decorum, 
(Wisdom likes not Laughter's formn) 
Said : ''Somewhere within this cold 
Is a lake of liquid gold, 
Warm to a degree and minute, 
And the fauna wallow in it." 

So upon this exploration 

Went they with some trepidation. 

When a barking loud they heeded 

Just beyond a peak upraising. 
From whose summit where they speeded 

Was a spectacle amazing. 
Walruses, sea-lions, too. 
And of seals a countless few. 
Bobbed and dove and swam and rolled 
In a lake of purest gold. 
And there was the intimation 
That they had a hint of station, 
For the animals disporting, 
In their golden wave cavorting. 
Showed as greatest they were rating 
Whose tusks had the most gold plating. 
So, a narwhal glittering, 
Of aristocrats was king; 
And the power that he sways 

No kind fortune gave as due him. 
But by tusk and tusking ways. 

More gold naturally clung to him. 



32 THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 

But the Carboniferae 

That Time's clock was backward winding, 
Were a joy to our Professor 

Greater than the Pole's first finding; 
And while notes he made of flora 

For his colleagues in Podunks, 
Kunnelstoke swam in and bore a 

Ton of gold ashore in chunks. 
Tho' in gold and diamond treasure 

No king was so rich a type, 
They'd have given golden measure 

For tobacco and a pipe; 
And, as Herring drily told it, 

As he bore the gold home, grunting. 
That in bullets they could mold it. 

And would have a golden hunting. 

One day in a deep ravine 
Hunting, a musk-ox was seen; 
And with wile that caution got him, 
Runnelstoke soon stalk'd and shot him. 
Then our hero almost fainted, 
For the beast's breath bore the sainted 
Delicate fine jasmine smell 
That our hero loved so well. 
And if Herring had not hissed it 
I'm afraid he would have kissed it. 
Then our unimpressed Professor 
Took a knife and made a pass 
Thro' the ox, and from his stomach 



OF CAPTAIN KUNNELSTOKE 33 

Took a pinkish soft white mass; 
Murmuring: "As I expected"; 
Jasmine plainly was detected. 
Said our Eunnelstoke a-swearing, 
"As much wisdom now I'm sharing 
As before you slashed the ox. 
Tell me what this mass unlocks? 
What and where, indeed, is tliis?" 
Answered Herring: "Ambergris, 
And it comes from fossils grand. 

Long extinct, and sweet perfumed 

By the flora, ages doomed, 
Somewhere in this cold, cold land. 
And the fauna feed upon it, 
And the odor, thus they don it." 
Eager for a quick solution 

ilystery a-seeking spurned them. 
And they showed no diminution 

Of the science-love that burned them. 
Then they came upon a spot 
On a hill they ne'er forgot. 
Vast extending pinkish beds, 

Balmy clime, some Esquimau 
^Yondrous floral growth that sheds 

Perfume on the beds below. 
And the people live on this 
Various scented ambergris. 
Then in converse, held by signs. 

With the various tribes they found 
That the odor borne defines 



34 THE STEANGE ADVENTUEES 

The eliteness here around. 
The skunk-cabbage ambergris, 

Fetid to our nose, I fear, 
To the eaters gave the bliss 

Of the fashion-setters here. 
And the grade down, they were told. 
In the social scale, behold : 

The Woxm-wooders ; 

The Snake-rooters; 

The Thistle-downers; 

The Cockle-burers. 

And lower down in caste: 

The For-get-me-not-ers ; 

The Meadow-rue-ers ; 

The Night-shade-ers. 

And last: 

The Jasminers. 

But the Jasmine, sweetest one 

Of the flowers here bespoken, 
Was the odor that they shun. 

And of outcasts was the token. 
Eunnelstoke, all unaware. 
Rubbed some on his beard and hair. 
And he learned his caste selection 
By his manner of ejection. 
Herring, one remark terse made he. 
Bearing on a chorus-lady. 
For a long six weeks or more. 
Out their cozy cabin door 



OF CAPTAIN EUNNELSTOKE 35 

Never once they dared to peep. 
For the snow was falling deep; 
But, alarmed by feeling motion 
Like the rocking of the ocean, 
With a shovel one bright day 
Thro' the snow they dug their way. 
Then our heroes almost swooned, 
For they found they were marooned 
On a huge berg icily 
Floating on the open sea. 

Then there came a vicious growling, 
From an Arctic monster prowling, 
And they turned around to find 
A large Polar bear behind. 
Eunnelstoke, to get his rifle 
Ran, for 'twas no time to trifle. 
Bullets missing, no spare time, and 
For a bullet rammed a diamond. 
Then, returning in a hurry, 
For his partner in a worry. 
The Professor fleet he spies, 
"Winner of the Arctic prize 
For the fastest foot-race spanned 
Over bleak and barren land. 
But the bear, as Fortune willed, 
Eunnelstoke now shot and killed; 
And the skin could well be handsome 
That had cost a kingly ransom. 



36 THE STEANGE ADVENTURES 

The flesh, too, was palatable, 
Tho' some was umnalletable. 

In a warmer current shifting, 

Daily southward they were drifting; 

Daily appetites grew taller, 

Daily, too, their food grew smaller; 

And — what they could not help thinking — 

Daily, too, their berg was shrinking. 

Then came many curious things; 

Fish with rare and golden wings, 

Horned turtles, pearly shells, 

Crabs of which no hist'ry tells. 

From the ice where they had got 

In an era old and shellish; 
Which, when toasted in a pot, 

Were a rare and dainty relish. 

Then a tiny speck appears 

On the dim horizon's sky 
And they fired wood in tiers 

To attract the passerby. 
E'en their coats they took and waved them 
On long poles, — and that's what saved them, 
For the steamer stopped and rounded, 
And their joy by naught was bounded 
When a boat from off the "Nord" 
Came and took them both aboard. 
Oh, that hour was divine, 
Banqueting and drinking wine; 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 

Then our Runnelstoke was frantic 
For his coat and diamonds, too. 
Were adrift on the Atlantic 

On a derelict of blue. 
And disconsolate was Herring, 
For his precious notes, all bearing 
On the trip, were now a joke 
With the coat of Runnelstoke. 



38 THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 



CHAPTER III 

THE SEAT OF AUTHORITY 
OR 
BUTTERFLIES WILL FLY 
AISTD 

FISHES WILL SWIM 

The ripples play o'er the sunlit bay, 

But they do not play for me; 
The white gull screams o'er a land of dreams 

But the dreams I never see. 
The ships go by with their sails that fly, 

For their docks they leave the sea; 
And some heart-beat waits there to greet, 

But there's no heart-beat for me. 

Alone on steeps where the gi-eat tide sweeps 

Out of the Golden Gate, 
I see ships sail in the evening gale 

From the fairest land of Fate : 
And some sail out that ne'er return. 

And would I, too, were one 
That sailed away from that golden bay 

Out in the setting sun. 



OF CAPTAIN EUNNEIiSTOKE 39 

Now again was Runnelstoke 

Weary of life, people, shore, all ; 

For he heard the waves that broke 
On some far Pacific's coral, 

And he felt the keen salt air 

In his nose and in his hair. 

Then, too, read he of Samoa 

In a land of floral glory. 
Of the maids that longed to show a 

Fondness (so beguiled the story) 
For some daring rough old sinner 
That would dare to be the winner. 
And he pictured himself swaying 

In a hammock in the sun 
While a maiden was displaying 

Ankles, arms, convention none. 
In a set of subtile dances 
To his loving, burning glances. 
And of work, thought Runnelstoke. 
Xever would he do a stroke; 
For the maiden that would woo him 
All of that and more would do him. 

So he bought the bark desired 
And a cut-throat crew he hired; 
While he pictured to each daring 
Candidate what luck was sharing 
In some fair divinity 
Of dusky femininity. 



40 THE STEANGE ADVENTURES 

Three months later, — many miles, — 
Sailing in the South Sea isles, 
After yellow snakes and red 
Many times they saw and fled. 
One night, ere the gull could fly 
That was perching, masted high, 
Came a tidal wave stupendous. 
Like a giant hand tremendous. 
And upon a mountain's dent 
Left them high and dry, and went. 

Now again when morning broke 
Forth went dauntless Eunnelstoke, 
Giving orders on his trip 
That his men stand by the ship; 
For if maidens there were many, 
He should have first choice of any. 

O'er the mount he went not far 
Ere he heard the sound of war ; 
Saw a cohort that could swerve a 
Cannon-ball or e'en Minerva: 
Lovely damsels marching, partial 
To the garb of kilties martial, 
And with epaulets, I wager 
None of lesser rank than major,— 
And above their martial things 
Each had butterflying wings. 

Now before our Eunnelstoke 
From astonishment awoke, 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 41 

He, a prisoner to their charms, 
Was put under guard and arms. 
Then they led him by a trail 
Winding over hill and dale, 
In and out and up and down. 
Till they came to a gi-eat town, 
Where they saw a palace splendid 
Which a fount its beauty lended; 
Where they entered by a portal, 
Runnelstoke, his guard, in short, all. 

Shone a marble hall, while blared 

Trumpets, and the snare-drums snared ; 

From each nook of damask dowry 

Came a laughing, dancing houri, 

Who showed quite an animation 

In their eager admiration: 

For they had an intuition 

Runnelstoke was the fruition 

Of what they had dreamed and waited, 

Though they often shammed they hated — 

Man! 
Men were (learned he with surprise) 
Never in this paradise : 
But where fickle men ne'er fooled them, 
There a queen of fashion ruled them : 
That Titha3a was the name 
Of the present ruling dame. 
And she ruled there like a Solon 
In her feminine dominion; 



42 THE STRATSTGE ADVENTURES 

Still, if one could keep a poll on 

Her fair colleagues' sweet opinion, 
They would oft have heard it hinted 
That her virtue was half minted. 

Ah! All virtue is a thing 
Of a dim and snowy wing, 
Hovering round the owner's head, 
Seen by her alone, 'tis said ; 
For all others note with culture 
That our virtue is a vulture. 

NoAv when they had long debated — 
Round the compass, back to zero — 

Who should have the antiquated 
Still unmated, grinning hero. 

They determined to the queen. 

That her wisdom might be seen. 

When the queen was on her throne, 

Then a thousand mirrors shone ; 

And each lady in her hand 

Held a curious magic wand, 

Studded and all gemmy hued 

That made true each wish and mood. 

Then their dresses change and blend 

Over silks that never end. 

In the fret of flowers fragile 

And the run of colors agile : 

Yellow moons and argent stars. 



OP CAPTAIN RUKNELSTOKE 43 

And the tiger's splendid bars, 
With each brilliant stone and shell 
Whereon Fancy loves to dwell. 
For a lady's mood to change 
Here is not considered strange, 
But 'tis calumny to name 
One that ever is the same. 

Said Tithsea: "Who are you? 

Of what race and with what guile 
Come you o'er the ocean blue 

To debauch our happy isle?" 
Then our hero to the queen, 
Kno'wang she had never seen 
Man, said : "I am come from Mars 
And I visit many stars; 
For I have a strange invention 
Which is not for me to mention." 
Here he seized the damsels nigh 
Ere the twinkling of an eye, 
And he juggled kilties bright 
Till the air was plaided quite; 
Till the queen believed the fellow 
Was a sly old Martian dweller, 
While the tales he told fictitious 
Like a salad, were delicious 
To the ears that listened sedulous 
To a world of naught incredulous. 

"Come," said she, "and shout and sing, 
Let us make the stranger king; 



44 THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 

Let the nuptial gold-bell peal 

For my happy hymeneal. 

Every one shall share the pleasure 

Of observing love is nihil; 
For each kingly cherished measure 

Shall be bended but to my will." 
So it was acclaimed, and all 
Started for the wedding ball. 
How their feet on gold stairs tinkled ! 
Down and down, wliile round them twinkled 
Stars that sprinkled columns Doric 
In a shower meteoric; 
Down, while sparkled ocean vista, 

Down, where deep-sea life is centered, 
To a mighty amethyst, a 

Ball-room now, in which they entered. 

Then a train of faery misses 
Brought a thousand frothing blisses : 
Pears from whitened powder peeping; 
Plums in precious liquor steeping; 
Desserts creamy, dainty berried; 
Kisses crumbly, saucy cherried; 
And of things whose scents and tints 
He caught but the faintest hints. 
So they taste of viands spicy, 
And they sip of liquors icy, — 
But of nothing to satiety, 

But turning, ever turning; 
For the essence of propriety 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 45 

Is to provoke a yearning, — 

To maintain a subtile yearning. 

Then when music's lavish charms 
Fell like dew on lips and arms, 
And the chandelier imprints 
Everywhere its lilac tints, 
Often as the dancers glide. 
Flashing by the pane outside, 
Were the glaring eyes and gape 
Of each thing of deep-sea shape, — 
Red and yellow, green and blue, — 
With an octopus or two. 

Here were: 
Star-Fish, 
Gar-Fish, 

Mullet and flounders, 
Sword-Fish, 
Lord-Fish, 

Perch, twenty pounders. 

Dog-Fish 
Hog-Fish, 

Sturgeon and Trappers, 
Lion-Fish, 
Flyin'-Fish, 

Anchovy and Snappers. 

Pipe-Fish, 
Stripe-Fish, 



46 THE STEANGE ADVENTUEES 

Porcupine and strange Eels, 
Babbit-Fish, 
Nab-it-Fish, 

Jew-Fish and Angels. 

Some fish swim because their fin 
Wiggles out and wiggles in; 
Others swim because their nose 
Pokes a hole where'er it goes; 
Others still because their tail 
Pushes so, they cannot fail. 

With a glorious grand finale 
Now is gone the ball-room's folly; 
All sat staring thro' the pane 

With burning wish on wish : 
But butterflies are butterflies, 

And fish are always fish. 

Next day heard he from a scribe 

How their wisdom they imbibe; 

For he saw a wondrous school. 

With for every maid a stool 

(And Dame Gossip was the title 

Of this school where they learned quite all). 

With their caps and with their gowns, 

And a thousand pretty frowns. 

Titters and grotesque gyration 

With excessive exclamation, 

Why the inmost secret knowledge 

Was unfathomed in this college. 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 47 

A^othing here is ever stable, 

Joy to last is never able; 

Spires that gleam and glow and glisten ; 

Bells that ring and never listen; 

Birds that coo and woo and wliistle ; 

Flowers that sigh and cry and thistle; 

Trees that brim with tears and laughter; 

Butterflies that hurry after 

Some illusive fair phantasm, — 

Bubbles floating o'er a chasm; 

And on leaf and sweet bud wrinkled 

Is a yellow pollen sprinkled. 

Like a gold volcano must 

Have thrown over all her dust. 



Some time after, when was seen 
With what happiness the queen 
And the king bore wedlock's fiat. 
There were others that would try it. 
And with justly indignation 
To her came a delegation, 
Telling how she used to flout it 
When they had to do without it. 

Said a butterfly : "We've heard 
Of the blessings men conferred 
On our down-trod sex, before 
Reason opened Freedom's door: 
That a single hour uxorious 



48 THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 

Is worth a life laborious 

Spent with sages, daft and dafter, 

On the here and the hereafter. 

On the morrow let us ply 

To the turquoise isle near by, 

Where the fountains spout champagne 

And in revelry men reign, 

And by force of moral suasion 

End their frightful dissipation ; 

Thus obtain a man for each. 

That our doctrines we may preach." 

But TithfEa showed no pique 
'Cause the butterflies should seek 
Such a potion; having drunk it, 
She decided on the junket. 

Next day bright and early beams 
On a hundred gay triremes, 
With gold chain and silver hawser 
(Such as Croesus never saw, sir) 
And with splendid silks and satin. 
With a Persian rug or mat in; 
While at every oar a maid 
All her loveliness displayed, — 
For they all had costly dresses 
And the least were baronesses; 
While beside their Name-Creator 
Every title was far greater. 
So they row and so they smile 
Till tliey reach the turquoise isle. 



OF CAPTAIN KUNNELSTOKE 49 

Then the Moon of Venus rose 
Like the blush a maiden shows 
When the wasp of Love's within. 
And her face is one pink grin. 
Over hill and valley then. 
Where the butterflying men 
Lay at rest, shone Venus' moon 
And a gale arose eftsoon. 

Maids of sere and yellow leaf 
Went pursuing, like a thief. 
Cowering wretches that lay hid 
'Neath each leafy pyramid. 
And tho' oft aloft they fly, 
They cannot escape the eye 
Of the maidens, chasing clamorous, 
For their sweet concessions amorous. 



Big men, little men, rude men and courtly, 
Sly men, shy men, thin men and portly, 
Naive men, grave men, stolid men and 

fretters. 
Cheerful men, tearful men, bad men and 

betters, 
All of whom the women seized 
And quickly put in fetters; 
And when to the queen they led. 
Fair Tithgea gently said : 



50 THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 

"Who is man that should protest? 
When we know we know what's best 
To make him the happiest." 

Here the maidens, as they giggled, 
Bore the men, who chafed and wriggled, 
To their boats, — each precious burden, — 
For 'twas Love that ever spurred on. 

Now, when all of this occurred 

And they just had left the shore, 
Why, there came a giant bird 

Such as ne'er was seen before, — 
Such as with a couple flaps 
Could have spanned a mile, perhaps, 
And in colors of a tropic 
Blend of hues kaleidoscopic. 
Which (said Runnelstoke between us) 
Must have surely come from Venus ; 
And with warning not a note 
Seized him by the nape of coat. 
And before our hero found 

Whether waking or had seen a 
Phantom bright, he was a-ground, 

On the Isle of Catalina. 

"Now," said Runnelstoke, "I wonder 
If the mates I left down yonder 
On that isle, since I came from it. 
If thev ever crossed the summit." 



OF CAPTAIN EUNNELSTOKE 51 



CHAPTER IV 

THE ISLE OF DINOSAURS, 

OR 

THE ANTIQUITY OF COWRY 

Beside the sea, the marauding sea, 
Oh, the sea of a thousand moods ! 

I watch the pour of the waves that roar 
From the ocean's solitudes. 

Where the wave hath swept, I have mourned 
and wept, 

And laughed and sung and glowed; 
For my love or hate was small or great 

As the huge tide ebhed or flowed. 

Birth, life, death, after. — all are deep, 
As deep as the soundless sea; 

So may I rest on the ocean's breast 
When the last tide ebbs for me. 

One day came to Runnelstoke 
An astronomer who spoke 
Of some meteors that fell, 
Made of purest platinum, 



52 THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 

So the spectroscope did tell; 

And their value was a sum 
Which made Runnelstoke so dizzy 
That he wondered whither is he. 
And by dint of mental frolic. 

The astronomer explained, 
With their angles parabolic 

And the spot from which they rained ; 
Where they fell he quickly reckoned 
To the fraction of a second. 

Now for money, as was fit, 

Runnelstoke cared not a bit; 

Still, when he had weighed and thought 

Of the good that might be bought 

With the money that was fretting 

For our hero to be getting, — 

Such as giving books instead 

To the poor who wanted bread, 

Or of building a fine college 

For who never wanted knowledge, — 

(As if all the lore of schools 

Could make fools aught else but fools) 

He determined he was in it 

And was ready in a minute. 

So one morning rose the sun 
On the mighty Amazon, 
And shone on the schooner, too, 
Of our Runnelstoke and crew. 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNBLSTOKE 58 

In the land of sudden thunders, 
And the land of winged wonders. 

Dainty floating butterflies 
In the deepest of blue skies; 
Snowflake wings in silver barred, 
Azure tipt and slender flow'red, 
All the brilliant greens and reds 
That the tropic splendor sheds, 
Deep magenta, orange spotted, 
Moons of pink, all jet-black dotted, 
Crescents of a pale light green 
With a bronze-green star between, 
Crimson circles on pale grey. 
Dull brown blots on blue so gay. 
Tortoise-shell streaked, olive blotched. 
Marble blue-veined, silver notched, 
One surprise upon surprise, — 
With a million dragon-flies. 

While the beautiful blue toucan, 
Hoarser in his cry than you can 
E'er imagine, weirdly mellow. 
But with beak all scythed and yellow, 
Flew o'er ibis, pink and black, 
Wandering in their countless track. 
Splendid birds of gaudy plumes 
Richer far than Persia's looms. 
Flitted here and flitted there, — 
Drops of color everywhere. 



54 THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 

Then the vines that hang and fall 
From the trees, and over all 
Twining, shining seem to be 
Dark-green water serpentry. 
While at two-hour intervals, 
Thro' the quiet night there falls 
Tolling time, the hoceos' shrill 
From his peacock-hooded bill. 

Now by careful computation, 

The astronomer decided 
They were near the very station 

Where the meteors collided 
With the earth; when with a jar 
Even's sun fell like a star. 
Then upon the quiet river 
Broken only by the quiver 
Of the fireflies, or far light 
From the bright Brazilian starlight. 
Came a feeling deep and awesome, — 
As to mortal comes that saw some 
Phantom, — for the ship was moving 
When she lay at anchor; proving 
Some occult cause was the reason, — 
Either that or there was treason. 

Up and down and in and out, 
Runnelstoke ran with a shout ; 
In and out, up, down, I guess; 
Learned no more or learned no less. 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 55 

For the ship went on careering. 
As if some unknown were steering, 
Never port or never starboar' 
Straight into an island harbonr. 

Here in bondage soon were led men 
And our hero by the redmen. 
Who lived here as cowry dealers — 
Nature's noblemen of stealers, — 
Here in idleness a-sunning. 
Often showing human cunning : 
Petting monke3^s,, eating parrots. 
Which they swallowed down like carrots, 
Or in liunting porpoise-whales 
With round heads and with square tails, 
Twenty times a porpoise longer, 
Eighty times a porpoise stronger, 
Somewhat species-cousin linked 
To the late sea-cow extinct. 
This they deem the greatest booty. 
And they catch by stout ropes juty, 
One of which had caught the schooner 
In its sucker, and far sooner 
Than a porpoise in a drag-net 
Drew her in the capstan's magnet. 

Now these savages atrocious 
Did delight in deeds ferocious: 
Such as maiming multitudes 
In their wars and petty feuds 



56 THE STRANGE ADVENTURES 

(For the way their clubs were knocking 
Modern science would say shocking), 
While from what they trapped and baited 
They would feast for days unsated, 
Missing, in their uncooked cutting, 
All the luxury of glutting. 
And that they in health might stay, 
Tho' they knew no illness, they 
Dug for roots, and climbed for shoots, 
And dove deep for green sea-fruits, 
Which they swallowed with distress 
And enjoyed in siclcnesses. 

But their measure of earth's pleasure 
Was this cowry that they treasure. 
Cowry shells in cowry sacks, — 
How they strive to gain huge stacks ! 
How they jumble! How they tumble! 
Giving knocks and taking whacks! 
If an earthquake should deep earth it, 
Wliat in all the world were worth it? 
For this cowry is the shekel 
Of a world from which they reck all : 
Drinking hell in fiery waters, 
Buying wives and selling daughters, 
Burning up life's two-point tallow 
For the charms of vice they hallow, 
E'en the number of death's bells 
Being but a one of shells. 
Cringing, begging, lying, stealing, 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 57 

Coveting and double dealing. 
All to win the paltry dowry 
Of a couple hundred cowry. 

Nothing here is what it seems, 

Visional}'-, all but dreams. 

Truth is only theoretic, 

Everything is antithetic. 

While the sport they like immensely 

Is to love or hate intensely: 

That is, if to hate one's brother, 

Or to love the wife another 

Has, is joy; as if the earth 

Here apologized it gave some birth. 

Every act they did was bent 
By a king called Precedent. 
Somewhere in a lonely woodland, 
Rules he bad and rules he good land. 
From the cradle to the grave 
What a tribute him they gave ! 
True, no one had ever seen him, 
For the dinosaur! screen him ; 
But let rise one daring fellow, 
How the dinosauri bellow ! 

Then did Runnelstoke, the savior 

Of his chief's son (Fate will lead 'em 

Who are worth her fine behavior), 
Gain for every man his freedom ; 



58 THE STRANGE ADVENTUEES 

And the astral man comi5uted 
In a manner not refuted, 
That the meteors had slided 
Where the dinosaurs resided. 
So upon that dread ascent — 
And the platinum — they went. 

Then they came upon a wood 
Where the beasts in conclave stood. 
And behind some bushes hid 
They observed all that they did. 
Said the Lion: "Let us ape 
Man and let us play man's shape." 

Said the Rabbit: "I am Right 
And in justice I delight; 
Peaceful am I in my manners, 
Deprecating evil-planners." 

Said the Jackal: "I am Law 

And I have a hungry maw. 

Right should always sweet Law follow." 

Here he gobbled with a swallow 

Up the Rabbit, in a thrice, 

While the beasts winked once or twice. 

Said the Jaguar: "I'm Wealth 
And I have a golden health, 
Even tho' I am black-spotted 
By the evil deeds I've plotted." 



OF CAPTAIN EUNNELSTOKE 59 

Here he swallowed up the Jackal 
Furry hide, nose, tail, legs, back, all; 
While the Lion laughed with glee 
At the other's revelry. 

Said the Lion: "I am Might 
And I love Wealth, Law and Eight." 
Here he ate the Jaguar, 
Tho' his yelling sounded far, 
Then the Lion with a gallop 
Went, for he had eaten all up. 

Xow our hero with great humor 
Cared he not a bit for rumor. 
Always if you seek what's prior 
Eumor is a fickle liar, 
Adding to each later trial 
Till it is its own denial. 
So had rumor heard deep growling 
From some dinosauri prowling. 
For no matter how directed. 
To the mount, one was detected 
By some hideous and gory 
Furious, growling dinosauri. 

Thus went forth this force courageous, — 
Bravery is oft contagious, — 
And our hero's fearless bearing 
All his company was sharing. 
So all day they talked, full sated, 



60 THE STKANGE ADVENTURES 

Of the greeting that awaited 

Monsters ; when they heard a patter 

On the leaves^, how they did scatter ! 

Here and there, and helter-skelter, 

Some ran e'en a mile for shelter. 

Eunnelstoke alone showed glory, — 

And of course he tells the story. 

'Twas a rabbit from them scaring. 

Which when learned restored their daring. 

Then when dark they heard the nightly 

Roaring of some monster mighty, 

Till to scatter was a habit 

At each noise of dove or rabbit. 

And a panic so unmanned 'em 

That they found the mount at random, 

Where they learned with quaking knees 

Monsters are all effigies. 

There each entrance facing forth, 
West and east and south and north. 
And between each to and from pass 
Like the figures on a compass. 
Were two rampant dinosauri, 
Relics of an era hoary ; 
Carved of agate leoparded, 
But of green the spines and head, 
With a gleaming crimson gem 
In the eyes of each of them. 
While upon each marble column 
Perching, silver-white and solemn. 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOEE 61 

Was the aeronaut earth lacked, till 
Came the winged pterodactyl. 

Lo ! The king in gold and ermine 

Slumbering 'neath a sweet narcotic. 
As where seeds of death will germ in. 

Flaunts an orchid's rich exotic, — 
Sitting on a bright pink throne 

Jeweled and all fluor-sparred. 
On a dais whither shone 

Snowy crystal, silver-starred. 

Then they saw in palace kitchen 

Many dainties it was rich in; 

Pots of wine of vintage rare, 

That would sparkle in the air 

Like the lustre that is shed 

Thro' a goblet garneted; 

Pots of spices; pots of honey; 

Pots of curious golden money 

That would tinkle in its fall 

To the marble pedestal ; 

Pots of jams that showed the tint 

Of their precious berries' mint ; 

And of fruits that bloomed their span 

Ere earth's histories began. 

But the only sound they found 
Was the sound of owl that hooted, 



62 THE STEANGE ADVENTUKES 

And the bittern's travail suited 

To those who think that life lore-ward 

Should be in the past, not forward. 

But upon a tablet near 

Was the earth's five-thousandth year, 

Graven in a mystery 

That a sage of tongues to see 

Would have given gold high stack-ward, 

For the text was reading backward. 

Still in palace nooks and dells 
Everywhere were cowry shells; 
In gold boxes and fair vases. 
Cowry shells in all odd places, 
As if cowry were the worth 
Of the greatest pearl on earth. 

But the platinum they found. 

Fully forty feet around, 

Which the}^ hammered, sawed and melted, 

Till each man a fortune belted 

In his pouch; then sly back sneaking, 

When they showed the redmen lazy, 
Such a laugh they gave, loud shrieking. 

That each thought the other crazy. 

Then embarking all their treasure 
Home they sailed with greatest pleasure, 
And had nearly reached the bright house 
Of our Sandv Hook's own lighthouse. 



OF CAPTAIN RUNNELSTOKE 63 

When the ship struck and went under 
In a sudden squall of thunder. 
Eunnelstoke alone was saved; 
How our hero stormed and raved 
As he thought how Fortune's potion 
Had been swallowed by the ocean. 

Xow of Eunnelstoke I end, 
Eunnelstoke, my bosom friend, 
Eunnelstoke, the crafty ranger 
Who has tasted every danger; 
And if any deed or word 
Done, or read about, or heard, 
Is impossible, — a joke, — 
My reply is, — Eunnelstoke. 



MAR 20*1912 



riilSin.l,?'' CONGRESS 

I iillilillllllil 

015 873 432 1 



